faucet

A month ago I got a haircut, and for the first time ever, the person gave me actual advice on my hair.  You would think it would have been from the super-gay hairdresser here in Cincinnati, but no, it was the $5-cheaper lady at Great Clips in suburban Cleveland.

She asked if I liked my hair, and I said “eh…” and she said “not when it’s curly, right?”  She told me that I shouldn’t wash my hair every day, that it dries it out, and makes it curlier.  She had dreadlocks and insisted I feel her hair, squeeze it, to feel how different it was from mine.

So, I stopped using shampoo.  I do the same motions, but just with water.  I’m not sure there is a huge difference… I should have done a control and shampooed only the right side.

Anyway, I told a girl today about my new regime, and she was a. mortified and b. curious why I interpreted “don’t use shampoo every day” as “don’t use shampoo ever.”  She has a fair point.

Now that I’ve discovered combs, everyone else’s hairstyles disappoint me.  There’s all this crazy stuff I can do… comb against the grain, make these asymmetrical ridges and tufts and forward-swept flows and on and on.  If I used gel or something, I could achieve even more crazy/interesting looks.  Why isn’t anyone else doing this?  I guess I’ll just have to be a trendsetter.

I used a comb for the first time in years.  I look like Calvin on school picture day!

(said in Columbo voice)

I go to a haircut-place so that they will cut my hair.  They are trained.  I see the certificate right next to the mirror.

They shouldn’t be asking me questions on how my hair should look.  I should be able to walk in and yell “make it look good!” and then they descend on my scalp with razors and scissors and gels.  If I knew how to make my hair look good, I’d do it myself.

I’m paying you! I tip nicely!  Make it work!

Haircut.  2 things:

1. “Keep the sideburns?”  This question always stumps me.  If I say “no” do they cut them off entirely?  What would that look like?  And if I say “yes” will they just not touch them at all, leaving them weirdly thicker and longer and curlier than the rest of my hair?  I’ve resolved the issue with the non-answer “just trim them a bit.”  It seems to do the trick.
2. “Square or rounded?”  This was asked apparently in reference to the back of my neck.  I guess how she finishes it off in back?  I’m not sure what either would look like, plus I don’t often see the back of my neck anyway.  I said “er….. square?”  I figured that a square haircut may look more robotic/futuristic, which could be neat.  She then said “you have a narrow neck line.”  I have no idea what that means.

I turned 22 today.

I counted my gray hairs, my likely-to-be-totally-inaccurate count (have you ever actually tried to count strands of hair?) is somewhere around 70.  I included a factor of safety for the hairs on the back of my head that I can’t see.

My hair looks like I was struck my lightning. I like it and wish it was like this everyday.