Things started feeling off on New Years Day. He left early, and our texts the rest of the day had an odd quality. He was being more distant. Yesterday I stopped by his place to pick up a jacket I had left there. We chatted briefly, all smiles. Last night, I was out with JRicardo and he texts:
D: Hey so I just wanted to clear the air a little and tell you that I really do like you a lot, and I don’t want there to be any weirdness between us. I just don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship right now. And yeah I’m not really the best communicator either… I hope we’re ok though
Me: Hey first of all thanks for this. Second of all, let’s just hang out. In fact I’m at 440 with a friend and was debating whether to invite you (you are invited)
Me: Third, who knows about relationships… I like being with you and would like to continue that for however long
D: Yes ok that sounds good, I just got off work, be there in like 20?
So he comes and good times are had by all. In the morning I start to head towards the door, then turn back to kiss him goodbye.
Last night his text seemed fine, but throughout the workday today I started feeling sort of sad… I like him a lot too. We are going to chat tomorrow to get more specific about what our not-a-relationship will be.
What is a relationship anyway? This is what I know:
- I want to talk to him (almost) every day. Even if its just a quick text-message convo.
- I want to spend time with him. Out on the town, sitting on the couch, chilling with friends, laughing in bed.
- I haven’t had any desire to flirt with or date or kiss or whatever anyone else since I’ve met him (the Tuesday before Thanksgiving). I want to flirt with and kiss him (and whatever).
- I smile more when I’m around him.
Feelings are hard, you guys.