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The time I spend every morning attempting to find two matching black socks likely adds up. And I realized, I’m an “adult” or whatever, I could just go and buy 10 pairs of identical socks, donate all the old ones, and be guaranteed matching socks from there on. But I haven’t. ~~ I’m not a boy, not yet a man~~

Damnit I just realized that I actually have time most days to like, go to a gym or whatever. My primary excuse of not-enough-time is invalid.

Guh.

There is apparently a free Lana del Rey concert this Thursday in the Haight.  The last time I went to a free concert, I ended up in OK Go’s hotel room.  Will I go 2 for 2??

I sometimes find weekends a little depressing. There are so many hours to fill, and whenever I find myself without activities or friends to fill the days with, I feel very lonely and pointless.

It almost makes me look forward to Monday and work; at least there I have a purpose, perhaps even have a feeling of accomplishment.

upwardsandonwards asked: you are hysterical, and your blog is amazing. please explain why you don't have thousands of followers.

Genius is rarely recognized in its own time.

Someone posted a picture on facebook of an owl, with the caption “happy superb owl day!” and I’m finding it way funnier than I really should.

There is a tourism ad for Seattle I saw that boasted “35 celebrity chef restaurants.”. They must have a more liberal definition of “celebrity” than I us.

Allow me to list celebrity chefs, not even limiting myself to Seattle:

-Emeril
-Butter diabetes lady
-The douche with the spiked bleached hair
-The accent guy who is on before Fringe
(end of list)

“I was so drunk last night I broke my spaceship.” - things only I have said ever.

One of my roommates is a great guy, but him getting home is like a bomb going off. Doors slamming, dramatic yawns, pots and pans, his voice is just loud… It’s the dramatic yawns that really get me though. It’s just so silly. What a day he must have had!